A frightening new find has been recently made regarding the Suicide Squirrel Death Cult (SSDC). In Toronto, Canada, there is a breed of large black squirrels, large enough to make a tasty snack. One would fill you up quite nicely. After a small amount of observation it became clear that these roving black rodents were not in the least bit afraid of people, continuing about their business as if there were no bi-peds present. After further research, it was noted that they were not scared of dogs either, as a matter of fact, dogs were afraid of them! The mystery grew. Knowing what little we do know about the dreaded SSDC, this seemed like a good opportunity to find out more about what the SSDC has in store for the human race.
It was durring this time that we actually saw a black squirrel standing in the road!, unphased by traffic! When we approached the little rascle, it actually charged, came running right at us! What sort of proof do we have, you might ask? An attempt was made to document their behavior...and that's when the most froghtening discovery was made. These squirrels possess the ability to employ Black Magic. While trying to take a video clip of the SSDC Black Wizard in the act of attempting "Suicide," the camera quit working. We received a "memory card error" that would not go away. After several beers, warming the camera, cleaning the card slot, and whacking the camera on the table, nothing. Error. We took the next step, and went to a store to get a new card. No problems, new card worked fine. We headed out to get some evidence of this evil in Canada, an attempt to help warn others of the new magik weilding menace tucked away here in Toronto. It was not go, these little basterds seemed to know our moves even before we did. When we returned home at the end of the day, the camera returned to functioning, as if nothing had ever been wrong.
The SSDC has learned to employ the dark side in it's quest...whatever that may be.
In order to help the rest of you in the race to understand what doom lies ahead, here is an artist rendetion of the Black Magik Squirrel that charged us as we stood, frozen by it's spell, camera rendered useless by its powers. Be afraid, be very afraid...


...fuego